Emotional abuse and neglect
Therapy for Adults Affected by Emotional Abuse and Neglect
This work addresses the long-term effects of childhood emotional abuse and neglect: the invisible injuries to self-worth, trust, and belonging. In structured, compassionate therapy with Dr. Arlene Drake, adults can understand these experiences, recognize the beliefs they created, and rebuild a more honest relationship with themselves. Virtual therapy is available to California residents.
Understanding
What is emotional abuse?
Emotional abuse is a pattern of behavior that harms a child's sense of worth and safety: chronic criticism, belittling, humiliation, rejection, scapegoating, intimidation, or withholding love and approval as punishment. Unlike physical abuse, it leaves no visible marks, which is exactly why it can be so confusing to name.
What is childhood neglect?
Neglect is the absence of what a child needs: emotional warmth, attention, responsiveness, supervision, or basic care. Emotional neglect in particular can be hard to recognize because it is often about what did not happen, the care and attunement that was missing rather than something that was done.
Worth and shame
Early messages of being unwanted, defective, or burdensome echo into adulthood.
Trust and connection
Difficulty trusting care, expecting rejection, or staying guarded with loved ones.
Boundaries
Struggling to say no, over-giving, or tolerating treatment that does not respect you.
Safety at home
A childhood home that was not safe shapes the wish for, and fear of, home as an adult.
Effects
How can emotional abuse and neglect affect adult life?
Adults who grew up with emotional abuse or neglect often notice the effects long before they connect them to childhood: persistent self-doubt, a harsh inner critic, difficulty asking for help, over-functioning for others while under-serving themselves, or a deep belief that they are not enough.
These responses made sense in an environment where they helped a child survive. In therapy, they can be understood, respected, and gradually replaced with ways of living that reflect an adult's real value.
- Rebuilding self-worth that does not depend on proving or earning it
- Learning to trust your own perceptions and feelings
- Practicing boundaries, needs, and direct communication
- Soothing the inner critic and reducing shame
- Healing the ability to receive care and closeness
Getting started
How do I begin?
Reach out through the contact page or by calling (818) 516-3013 for a consultation. You do not need to explain your whole history to ask whether this work fits. The practice focuses on understanding and change, at your pace.
Related reading: childhood trauma therapy, individual trauma therapy, and emotional abuse and neglect in adult life.
Common questions
Emotional abuse and neglect, in short
Can emotional abuse and neglect really have long-term effects?
Yes. Emotional abuse and neglect are forms of childhood adversity, and their effects are real and can last into adulthood. They are often less visible than physical abuse, but no less significant to the person who lived through them.
How is emotional abuse and neglect therapy different from other trauma therapy?
It shares the same structured, active approach, with particular attention to self-worth, trust, boundaries, and the beliefs that emotional abuse and neglect created.
Was it really abuse if it left no physical marks?
Abuse and neglect do not require physical marks to be real or harmful. The effects on emotions, self-belief, and relationships are how they most often show up in adult life.
Begin with a conversation
What happened to you matters. So does what happens next.
A consultation is a gentle first step: ask questions, learn about the approach, and decide without pressure. Virtual therapy is available to California residents.